


Dancing with Sharks

by ruff_ethereal



Series: My Boyfriend's A Copper [1]
Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - 1920s, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Prohibition Era, Death Threats, F/M, Gangster!Sashi, Gangsters, Illegal Activities, Officer!Penn, Prohibition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3576096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Get the hell out of here, copper.”</p><p>Officer Penn Zero tried to look incredulous. “Copper? Who, me?”</p><p>The small woman in the bright red-and-black dress glared at him. “Yes, you, the moron with the dumb red hair who thought he could sneak in just like that.”</p><p>All around them, the bar patrons watched the debacle with amusement, smoking their cigars, drinking their liquour, and peering up from their card tables.</p><p>Penn chuckled. “Well, it can't be me! The bouncer let me in, didn't they?”</p><p>The woman nodded. “Yes, that's because they told me there was a copper stupid enough to think he even had a snowball's chance in hell of getting in here, and I said, 'I have to see this douchesnozzle for myself, bring him in.'”</p><p>Penn blinked, and stared. “You're...”</p><p>“Sashi 'The Shark' Kobayashi, owner of the Chum Bucket.” She growled. “Your name, copper? Because I want to know which family to send the package to.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [radiowrittenheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/gifts).



> Title inspired by the movie "Dances with Wolves" and the saying "Swimming with Sharks."
> 
> Also we all know that Sashi would make an awesome gangster.

“Get the hell out of here, copper.”

Officer Penn Zero tried to look incredulous. “Copper? Who, me?”

The small woman in the bright red-and-black dress glared at him. “Yes, you, the moron with the dumb red hair who thought he could sneak in just like that.”

All around them, the bar patrons watched the debacle with amusement, smoking their cigars, drinking their liquour, and peering up from their card tables.

Penn chuckled. “Well, it can't be me! The bouncer let me in, didn't they?”

The woman nodded. “Yes, that's because they told me there was a copper stupid enough to think he even had a snowball's chance in hell of getting in here, and I said, 'I have to see this douchesnozzle for myself, bring him in.'”

Penn blinked, and stared. “You're...”

“Sashi 'The Shark' Kobayashi, owner of the Chum Bucket.” She growled. “Your name, copper? Because I want to know which family to send the package to.”

Penn gulped and considered his options, eyes darting from the increasingly frosty glare of Sashi, the amused looks of the patrons, and the patiently waiting faces of the numerous bouncers, suspicious bulges in their dress shirts.

“Officer Penn Zero, Ms. Kobayashi.” He said.

Sashi narrowed her eyes. “That your real name, copper?”

Penn put on a serious face and nodded. “Yes, ma'am.”

Sashi frowned and narrowed her eyes at him. She stepped in till they were less than a foot away from each other. Penn never let his cool waver, held back the sweat that threatened to pour down from his forehead.

Sashi pulled back, a satisfied smirk on her face. “You're honest. I like that. You've also got balls. That, or your skull is too thick to register how deep you've gotten yourself in. Either way, I like that even more. And for both of those: I'm not going to kill you.”

Penn smiled, and sighed in relief. “Thanks, Ms. Kobayashi.” He thumbed behind him. “I'm just going to go leave now...”

Sashi glared at him, and he stopped dead in his tracks. “I said 'I'm not going to kill you.' You? You come to my office right now. You have 30 minutes to convince me that it's better if I keep you alive.” She looked at the watch on her wrist. “Starting now.”

Sashi turned on her heel and strode off deeper into the bar, past the tables and the gambling, to a door right next to one labeled “Janitor's.” Penn followed after her at a brisk pace, already rehearsing lines in his head.

Sashi's office was small, and spartan. There was a file cabinet, a desk, a calendar, a smattering of journals and documents, a large comfortable chair for Sashi, and two plain wooden ones directly across her. “Sit down, Officer Zero.” She said coolly as she slipped into her seat—or rather, climbed into it.

Penn made no comment and obediently sat down. Sashi opened a cabinet on her side of the desk. “Drink? I carry all sorts of alcohol, water, and milk.” She said as she set down a tall, plain glass and a bottle of milk.

Penn stared at Sashi's drink as she poured it. _“Milk?”_

“I don't dip into my own products; don't drink, don't smoke, don't gamble. I've seen what happens.” Sashi said as she took a long drink. She set it down, and Penn saw she had a massive milk moustache. She looked at him and silently dared him to point it out.

“I'm good, thanks. So, since you aren't going to kill me, or let me go, what _are_ you planning to do with me?”

“I'm going to make you an offer. Obviously, your superiors are either looking for an excuse to be rid of you without getting their hands dirty, or you're working off the record and trying to bust our dear city's crime problem, handily bypassing corrupt cops in your way.”

Penn didn't clarify which one.

“I think we can both benefit from each other. You're after criminals; I have criminals after me. I propose that we work together: I provide you funding, information, and manpower; you take care of all the other gangs that threaten my operation, and keep the rest of the city's underbelly from trying to replace me. Maybe even help weed out my own roster, exterminate a couple of rats.”

“And in turn, you want me to provide you protection from the law, look the other way with your own operations, and give you help from time to time.”

Sashi smiled. “Very astute, Officer Zero! I'm free to operate as I please with less fear of someone stabbing me in the back, you get your gangsters and lowlifes behind your bars, and as a bonus, we get tabs on both of our sides of the law, letting us manage this city very effectively—keep the crime from going _just_ out of control, the law from being _just_ a little _too_ effective.”

“Ideally, with you as the heart of a criminal monopoly?”

“Yes indeed. I won't abuse it, obviously; the point of working with the police is that people shouldn't know you are. And of course, you will be _generously_ compensated for your cooperation.”

Penn chuckled quietly. “This is all crazy illegal.”

Sashi pursed her lips. “Is that a 'No,' Officer Zero?”

Penn shook his head. “Just commenting, Ms. Kobayashi. We going to hash out all the nitty-gritty later?”

“Yes.”

Penn held out his hand. “Then we have a deal.”

Sashi stared at him for a good, long while. “Mr. Zero, you are either a complete, absolute moron, or you are _much_ smarter than you let on.” She smiled and shook his hand. “I'd propose a toast to our new partnership, but sadly, you don't have a glass with you.”

Penn smirked. “Yeah. We probably could over dinner, though. I know this nice place downtown, have an in with the owner—could probably convince them to add milk to the menu for a night, too.”

Sashi raised her eyebrows. “Officer Zero, are you _asking_ me _out?”_

Penn grinned. “Yes. And please, call me Penn.”

Sashi chuckled. “Well, then, I hope you the place you know blows the ones I know out of the water. And please, call me Sashi. Unless you mess up our little partnership.”

“Then I lose rights to call you by your first name?”

“Yes. And I give you a nice pair of concrete shoes, tie fresh chum to your body, and dump you in the bay.”

“Noted!”


	2. Chapter 2

It was obvious the “in” Penn had with the owner was the only reason Sashi was allowed inside the restaurant. The staff were, mercifully, on their best behaviour still, treating the two of them like they were no different from all the other customers.

The other diners had no such compulsions. One table sneered at her in barely concealed disgust. Another quickly turned away the moment Sashi's eyes stared back at them. A third got up in a huff, pausing to yell at a server on their way out the door.

The live band played on throughout the disturbance. Though, judging from the low light that was just enough for them to read off their music sheets, they were probably paid to ignore and keep playing through anything, especially with the dance floor just in front of them.

“Something wrong, Sashi?” Penn smiled softly at her as he lead them through the sea of candle-lit tables.

Sashi forced a small smile back. “Oh, you know, just getting the stink-eye from everyone who doesn't work here, nothing new.”

“Just ignore them. Do you let your, uh, _'competition'_ get you down?”

“No, but that's because I work in a very _cutthroat_ industry.”

“These guys really any different?” Penn said as he pulled out Sashi's chair for her.

Sashi sighed. “You just don't know, Penn, you just don't know.” She slipped into her seat without fanfare. She caught a man staring at her with an expression that was certainly not disgust. She let her leg peek out just a little bit more from the slit of her dress.

She grinned and looked away the moment his female companion kicked him under the table and he yelped, a hilarious look on his face.

“You really should smile more. It makes you look even more beautiful than you usually are.” Penn said as he sat down across her.

Sashi rolled her eyes at Penn, blush creeping into her cheeks. “You know flattery doesn't actually get you everywhere, right?”

“True.” Penn grinned. “But it gets me to a _lot_ of places.”

“We'll just see how far it'll take you this time.” Sashi said, trying her very best not to grin back.

A waitress arrived with a bucket and two tall glasses. “Your drinks, sir and madam.” She said with a wide smile as she cracked open a bottle of ice cold milk and poured them both a glass.

“Menus come separate here, or something?” Sashi asked after she thanked the waitress.

“Actually, I already ordered for the both of us already. Sirloin steak, rare, right?”

Sashi's eyes widened, her lips curling up into the grin she'd tried so hard to stop. “Snooped around, did you?”

“It's kind of my job.” Penn said with overdramatic smugness.

Sashi put a hand to her glass of milk. “You're going all the way with this, aren't you?”

“Any hints to where it's me gotten so far?” Penn waggled his eyebrows as he raised his glass.

“Don't push it.” Sashi growled playfully as she raised her glass to him. “An overdue toast, to our new partnership.”

They clinked glasses, and drank. The two of them both ended up with milk moustaches and laughed at each other. “Here, you got something on your lips there.” Penn said as leaned in with a table napkin.

Sashi smiled and leaned closer, too. She watched, amused, as Penn suddenly took on a look of great concentration as he wiped off her milk moustache.

“I think I got it!” He said as he put the napkin back down on the table.

“You sure?” Sashi purred. “Maybe you should take a closer look; these candles don't really give out much light.”

Penn was about to before he noticed a waiter standing next to them with a basket full of bread. They smiled apologetically. “So sorry to interrupt.”

Penn waved them off casually. “It's fine.”

Sashi gave them a light glare, and grumbled, “Yeah, fine.” She leaned back into her seat and bit into a bread stick. If it was any consolation, they made very good bread sticks.

“So how'd you get into your industry, anyway?” Penn asked. She was in a good mood, and he still had the milk moustache which is why she didn't glare at him nearly as much as she would have.

“I was working part time jobs at the docks with my parents. Made terrible money, had terrible hours, and worked in terrible conditions. Happened to overhear one of my coworkers talking about a better opportunity, and they got me an entry-level job. Worked my way up from there.”

Penn smiled. “From humble beginnings story, huh?”

“Very humble—both my parents were fishermen and sailed over here from Japan with the dream of making it big, owning their own house, their own boat.”

“I'm assuming they've gotten them?"

“Nope. Still working at the docks I mentioned earlier. I'd offered them the money, the house, and the boat once, but my parents are proud and independent, to say the least.”

Penn nodded. “They know about your work?”

“No.” Sashi said icily. “My parents are also rather ignorant, and I'd rather keep it that way. So, how'd a charmer like you get in this industry?”

“Oh, you could say it ran in the family.” Penn said calmly. “My dad was a police lieutenant, my mom was a detective. They met together on a case and decided to go out to dinner after it ended in a high speed chase. Their cruisers were wrecked, and there was a truck stop nearby, so they decided, why not?”

Sashi smirked. “Sounds like they have some pretty interesting stories. They work this city, too?”

“Nah.” Penn looked at the table. “They, uh, got transferred overseas to a country called Australia. From what they tell me, it's a pretty beautiful place but everything's trying to kill them. At least they never get bored!”

Sashi reached out and touched his shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine.” Penn said quietly, looking up and smiling at Sashi. “They send telegraphs as often as they can. You keep in touch with your parents often, too?”

“No.”

“Oh, c'mon, not even an occasional phone call?”

Sashi closed her eyes. “I'll be honest with you, Penn: some days, I'd have preferred they left me behind in Japan when all the ships started sailing for America.”

“What, and have you miss out on the American Dream?” Penn smiled hopefully.

Sashi chuckled harshly. “And here I was thinking there was a modicum of intelligence underneath that cute curly mop. You? You're lucky, Penn. You were born to succeed in this city, this country. You're hopelessly optimistic, you've got good parents, you're _white._ But me? I'm _not._ That American Dream is for Americans only—not the people that crossed a pond or hopped a border to try and chase after it, too.”

Penn frowned, and said nothing.

Sashi looked down. “I'm not proud of what I do, Penn.”

Penn reached over and lifted her chin till she could look right into his eyes, see his smile. “You ever thought of switching jobs?”

Sashi scowled. “If there was one that was nearly as good as the one I have, I would have. Face it, Penn: people like me? There is no place for us up here, where all the parties and the cushy high rise offices are; there's only the underground, out of sight, where we won't 'infringe on your sensibilities' with my presence.” She spat with heavy disgust.

Sashi seethed, before her shoulders slumped and she sank into her seat, looking defeated.

Penn pursed his lip, deep in thought. “Do you dance?” He asked.

Sashi turned her eyes up to Penn and snarled at him. “What kind of stupid question is that?”

“One I want the answer to.”

Sashi squeezed her eyes shut and took several deep, angry breaths. “Yes.”

“Any specific music you like?”

“Swing.” Sashi glared at him. “Where are you going with this?”

“Somewhere not here!” Penn said as he hurriedly got out of his seat, smiling. “I'll be right back!”

Sashi frowned and sat up in her seat, watching Penn scurry through the tables like a rat with flaming red hair and a nice tuxedo, till he almost ended up crashing into the band. The players ignored him like they were supposed to until Penn pulled out his wallet and started handing out bills.

The music stopped as money exchanged hands and were stuffed into jacket pockets. Penn scurried right on back to Sashi, bowed, held out his hand, and grinned at her. “Want to dance?”

Sashi looked at him incredulously, then at the eyes of the patrons and the staff, all watching and waiting with a fairly even mix of disgust, shock, and curiosity on their faces. “You know this is going to cause a huge kerfuffle when it hits the papers tomorrow, right?”

Penn was unfazed. “That's tomorrow! Tonight, I'm on a date with you, and I'd love it if you'd want to dance. So, would you?

Sashi shook her head. “Is this how you always treat your dates? Flatter them, ruin the mood, then try to say sorry by asking them to dance?”

“No. But then again, Sashi, you're kind of a one of a kind woman, several leagues above the others—smarter, prettier, and definitely a _lot_ more alluring.”

Sashi blushed, and shook her head at him. She angrily snatched his hand and let herself be pulled up and led to the dance floor, a small smile on her face. It only grew bigger as the crowds around them started whispering and voicing their outrage. Another couple of tables left the restaurant, and in the corner, a reporter scribbled furiously.

The band started to play once more, a lively, jiving beat that was making Sashi's feet tap already.

“I'm assuming this is a 'Yes' to my question?” Penn said as he stepped onto the dance floor, already idly moving and stepping to the music.

“Yes.” Sashi said as she glided after him. “On one condition:”

Penn yelped as Sashi kicked his legs out from under him and his whole world turned upside down. Sashi caught him before his head could hit the ground, her arm on his back, the other grabbing one of Penn's in a clumsy, low dip.

Sashi grinned at Penn's terrified, bewildered face.

“I'm leading.”


End file.
